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"Step Siblings "

Source: Buzz


“Higamous, hogamus man is polygamous, higamous hogamous woman is monogamous.”
And even though some may well debate this saying, we find many men marrying and remarrying and producing offspring from their various liaisons (in wedlock or out of it) thus giving birth to many ‘step’ siblings. Unfortunately with the way our fairy-tales, movies, and the media ascribe and create negative connotations around the word ‘step’ many of us believe that ‘step’ relationships can only be damaging, destructive and antagonistic. But that is far from the truth. For the counter assumption would then be that siblings from same parents would never fight, have discord, and always and forever be the best of friends, And don’t we have loads of evidence to the contrary!

Getting along as siblings has little to do whether you were born from the same womb but more to do with the outlook you have towards each other; little to do whether there is shared blood between you but more to do with the fact that similar ideologies and likeminded points of view prevail. And don’t just unquestioningly believe that views and attitudes are inherited and passed down from parents to children. For then all of us would do only as our parents do/did, and all siblings would only be clones of each other. And again there is plenty of evidence to the converse.

Attitudes are learnt and therefore can be unlearnt. The best thing that a ‘step’ sibling and/or parent can do is cast doubts on the pessimistic and unhelpful undertones that people have attributed to being a ‘step’. Instead, conjure up your own valid and sensible definitions. Attribute meanings in the rational realm. For your meanings and denotations will influence your ability to relate or not relate to your ‘step’. ‘Step’ can easily be altered to ‘co’. Where ‘co’ means cooperation, companionship, comradeship and cordiality. It’s not just a play of words or an alteration of lingo; it’s about redefining concepts and about altering interpretations. For your viewpoints about words rather than the words themselves have an ability to propel you forward or to pull you back. And why wouldn’t you want to hold more bonafide meanings to further your relationships?

  • You would do well to ascribe sensible meanings to the word ‘step’. Do not blindly agree with societal connotations that if you are a ‘step sister’, ‘step brother’ or ‘step mother/father’, there should necessarily be strife and strain in relating with the members of your family.
  •  More than being of the same blood, it is the sameness in ideologies, values and outlooks that help people relate well and for long. So why should it be different for ‘step’ siblings?
  • The meanings you will ascribe to ‘step’ will go a long way in either propelling your forward or pulling you back in your ability to get along.

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