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"Staying "Madly" in love "


Freud said, ‘Love is temporary madness’. We are taking this to a completely different level now, believing that one can stay ‘madly’ in love! And in fact it is this very ‘unrealistic’ concept that leads to problems of love and being in love. The fact that Maria Susairaj wasn’t ‘madly’ in love anymore with her boyfriend is what led to the heinous killing of her current lover. Acid attacks, crimes of passion can all be traced to this very concept – she/he didn’t love me ‘madly’ enough! In fact, all love problems, whether it is people committing suicide over failed love, daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws playing tug of war so that their husband/son respectively feels more for intensely for one as compared to the other, emanate from this very concept.

 Being ‘madly’ in love can happen only when one is obsessed or in other words ‘sick’ in love. The populace instead better get ‘real’ aspects of love and loving if ironically, they don’t want to go ‘mad’ in love!

Monogamous loving over time requires effort and hard work. Sensible passion is achieved when people enter into and remain in relationships that provide a mutual exchange of positive reinforcers. When there is a ‘fair’ exchange, where both partners feel that they are giving and getting in roughly equal amounts, they will tend to perceive the relationship as desirable and wish to continue being and staying in love. Because it is good to love compellingly but not compulsively!

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